is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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