hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Randomize
