Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
