wanna go halves on a baby?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
