I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The adults are the big ones right?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
