i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
two words...techno handjob
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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