MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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