three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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