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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
