He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
