Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
