Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
