super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
