She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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