C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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