ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
