I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
nutella sex= disaster
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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