Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
