You work out of a Hotel?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
