This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
