Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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