i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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