that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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