so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
