Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
