i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
