So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
