dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
