Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
