now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
