I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize