That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
