That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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