Your tits are I can't wait for
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
