I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this boner is exhausting
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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