I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
