I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
