Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
