help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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