somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You dont lie about slip and slides
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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