No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
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