If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
