I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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