he was CRYING into my vagina
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
