This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
