Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
