I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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