Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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