I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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