My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
