i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
