What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's rum buckets o'clock
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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