This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize