well most of my day revolves around power hour
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
