either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
