My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
