Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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