Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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