i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
