I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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