In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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