there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
