He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
