So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
