By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
