Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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